[求助请各位高手指教

修己

我今年夏天刚升高中,不幸学小与美国有交流活动,非要我们集训,外教让我们用英文给任何东西写歌词,同学多为人写的,这是我的初稿,大家集思广益,帮忙改稿.(写给荧火虫之墓)

write after the movie GRAVE OF THE FIREFLIES

the snow is just falling down

fallen snow lying on the roof of the lives

and the grave of the death

we can't help the people who are in danger ,but why?

why so many people die in the war

why we can't give them our helping hand

I see the fireflies flying in the blue sky

I pray the people who died in the war feel the love of mine

the authority be the robben sometimes,but people never

I pray the war won't be back

I pray the war wont be back

No matter how hard it will be

no matter everything is getting worse

we should always do what we can

we will feel regret if we don't do so

how can you see people around you just leaving but we can do nothing

I am just standing ,standing on the white ground

with cold wind ,cold snow ,and ice

love can build every ,

you used tosay "i'am alive ,l help you

l come to help you ,in order that you can live

love canbuid every ,seeing the grave of the fireflies

这由于是歌词,要求炼词准确,请大家帮助精简句字,改措词,拼写错误,说明几段几行什么词,句,谢谢!!!

[此贴子已经被作者于2006-7-5 19:22:29编辑过]

修己

提一点是一点,大家帮帮忙行行好!